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Gurl

from Esoteric Songs by Kyle Okaly

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about

It's a parody of Curl, a song about curling by Jonathan Coulton. You should probably go listen to that one instead:

www.jonathancoulton.com/wiki/Curl

This exists because the line "it's a baby, call the hospital now" is a natural replacement for "come on baby, put the rock in the house".

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lyrics

Somewhere in the skipper
in a womb of fleshy darkness, fast asleep
somebody grows
She wakes before her son does
with aches in belly, ankles, back and head
She curses the coach
who said, while smiling
she was best of all the girls
She's better than all the dudes
That's what she's here to prove
But she read the test right, it was blue
And now they'll know that she's a girl

(It's a baby, call the hospital now)

Now she can't hide that she's a girl

Her husband begs she quit it
He says 9-month-pregnant women shouldn't curl
Her man name is Pete
No one seems to notice
She wears lots of padding, says she gets real cold
But it'd be neat if her contractions
stopped screwing up her game
There have never been higher stakes
She'll show 'em she's got what it takes
And she wins, and they cheer, water breaks
And soon they'll see that she's a girl

(It's a baby, call the hospital now)

If that's a baby, Pete's a girl

Her teammates all are freaking
Someone tries to time how far apart
It's not enough
An ambulance is coming
but it's lost, 'cause no one knows what curling is
So it is tough to tell the driver
just to come to the curling club
They've got to explain the whole game
and in the process they sound kinda lame
'cause the person that put them to shame
was an extremely pregnant girl

(It's a baby, call the hospital now)

Baby don't come from boy, just girl

Somewhere in the skipper
there's a womb of fleshy darkness that excretes
into the cold

credits

from Esoteric Songs, released September 9, 2016
Guitar: Kirsten Carey

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Kyle Okaly Los Angeles, California

I'm Kyle. I write music for film and games. I write songs about games and film.

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